


Confessional

by Zai42



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: Devotion, I Don't Even Know, Mind Sex, Other, Sort of? - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-29
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-29 12:22:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14472663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zai42/pseuds/Zai42
Summary: Jonah Magnus does not love his god.





	Confessional

_Love,_ some called it. An all-consuming acceptance or a blazing fire of passion, they all claimed that their gods _loved_ them.

  
Jonah knew better. _Love_ was a human concept, and he would never think to profane his god by suggesting it was something as base as _human._ No, his god did not love him, and whatever he felt for his god was not love. It was something _grander,_ something with a higher purpose than comfort or tenderness.

  
The first time he opened his Eye, he was so overwhelmed that he collapsed, with blood gushing from his nose and eyes, nearly blinding him--but the presence of his god kept him conscious, just barely, just enough to begin to understand, even if he could not yet _See._ Instead he felt, guided by his god, and he gave himself over to it completely.

  
He _felt._ He felt the dizzying drop of falling in his belly, felt the writhing of a million crawling things beneath his skin, felt saliva spring to his mouth at the thought of tearing apart living flesh with his teeth.

  
And more than that. He felt the demanding touch of inhuman fingers; the liquid heat of wax; the thousand different ways a human could be touched and changed and molded by things beyond their understanding, and he surrendered to each of them, let his body be manipulated and ruined and remade, over and over and over again.

  
When he awoke, he was on all fours in his chambers, his breath coming in great heaves as if he had just run a great distance, his limbs shaking, his body exhausted and satiated and still his own, yet not.

  
Jonah Magnus knew his god did not love him. His god was beyond love, too great and terrible for such paltry human things. He had given himself to it, mind and soul and body, and he would accept whatever his god gave him because he was his god's, a cog in its machine--a pupil in its great Eye. But it would not love him, and that would have to be enough.

**Author's Note:**

> I uh. I don't know, my dudes. It just kinda happened.


End file.
